Choices & Greed vs Attitude

Everything we do is a choice. I am reminded of this over and over again but I got to thinkin' today. As I was sitting here watching Lexi and Ty bounce up and down in their bouncy seats I was thinking, wow, I wish I had half their energy and all of their joy about the simple things (short lived as it is sometimes) or best of all half their joy about the difficult things.  Ok, so they aren't exactly joyful when they are hurt, hungry or tired but you get my drift. Am I just expecting too much? I know that outside of Christ no one that I know suffered more than Paul (Saul) so why can I not just be a bit more like more like Paul and have joy in the suffering and heartache of life???? I'm not starving (clearly), I have a roof over my head, money in the bank, healthy children, freedom to practice my faith, amazing friends, a wise Pastor (make that two), a job (for now), a vehicle and an awesome hairdresser. Maybe...sometimes I think I expect to be happy all the time and yet that is clearly one of the pitfalls of this world. We expect to be happy all the time and when we aren't, we just get rid of what's not making us happy at the moment and find something (or someone) else new. Of course only to find out that that too is a temporary happiness. It obvious that's not the answer. As one "wise" person would say we can't poop rainbows and butterflies. Life is just gonna suck sometimes. I would hate to hear my kids repeat that word but at the moment I just can't think of a more accurate word. Then onto the subject of greed vs attitude. We are all greedy (or selfish, whatever word you want to use) to some degree. That's just how we are (see Chapter 3 of Genesis). Are we born with a certian attitude or do we deveop it as a result of our own surroudings, people and circumstances...flawed or otherwise. Perhaps it's a combination. I'm a negative person...I don't want to be but I am. God is working hard on me but I'm not always a willing vessel. The sad part is I realize now that I was (ok, technically still am) married to someone who is PERSISTANTLY negative. Being around him makes me feel pretty good about my rotten attitude (I know that's wrong buuuuut....) and quite frankly it plucks my nerves to listen to him go on and on. For the love of pete, how much can you conceviably complain about??? Of course, some days I struggle more than others but don't we all? I know a lot of it for me boils down to insecuries which have now been exposed more than ever...and of hopes, dreams and plans that are now lost...or shall I say altered. Jeremiah 29:11  tells us that the Lord has plans for us...plans for a hope and future...plans to prosper you and not harm you. This is what the Lord promised the exiles that were sent away from Jerusalem to Babylon. If I had half the wisdom some of my courterparts do, I could explain it better and understand it more, however, it speaks words of comfort to my soul knowing that the Lord has plans for me...proserpous ones. Clearly better than what I have done so far. So why the attitude sometimes? For me, it's because I'm selfish, have my own plans and that rotten, persistant negative attitude just hangs on harder some days than others. I'm still human...I still want to be an awesome Mom and a wife...I want a beautiful house with a killer kitchen set up and a view to boot. I want someone who will treat me like a Proverbs 31:10 wife (and I accordingly would like to act like one), I would like to have the discipline of having a big savings account and no debt (outside of a mortgage) so I can go where I am called, when I am called and bless those who have less than me. I would like to just make healthly living a way of life and stop picking at myself for everything I eat and groaning about darn near every mile I walk or run. I would like to be a "fun" Grandma but also a hands on Grandma which to date I have not been able to do. How about you? Do you suffer with attitude issues? How have you made changes to your life and where (if anywhere) did you seek support from? What are your plans and goals? Please....DO share and tell me I'm not alone here...